Guest Post : Conspirasteve!

*Please note the opinions and theories expressed by ConpiraSteve are not necessarily shared by the author of this blog*


Boom!!!!... and just like that Dear Readers, we are back in the cold war!! Whew... and just in time for election OH8. I was a little curious on how the GOP where going to pull a "V" out of their collective ass.. Are you, Dawhite's industrious yet snarky-comment-making readership wondering what I may be referring to??!!

According to Vlad the Russian Destroyer (here on referred to as VRD) The Bush administration orchestrated the whole Georgian/Russian "WAR" to boost Johann Mc-I've-been-a-POW-so-don't-ask-me-a damn-thing-you-commie-pinko-Cain's poll ratings. While I'm not a big current events- let-me-divulge-the-newest-political-topic-and-take-Dawhite's-readership's-intelligence-for-granted-while-simultaneously-discovering-the dash-button-on-my-keyboard-styled guest blogger. I will at this point digress, but remember! I have at any moment the right to exercise the last sentence of my first blog posting. I do believe you were forewarned!! While I, Conspirasteve, would not normally indulge in such geopolitical global conspiracies, there are some salient/salivating facts about the whole sordid affair that brought the full weight of the Cospirasteve Nation to bear down on this distasteful yet tantalizing tidbit of pseudo world history.
The Facts :
1: Before the conflict, Geo Bush-our-soon-to-be-erstwhile-leader meets with VRD at the Beijing opening ceremony. By the way, did anybody check out the crappy seats those two got? I got better seats at a Blazer game from a scalper.
2: Johann's down 8Pt's in the polls. Barry O is in Hawaii for a week. Obviously doing UN-American activities such as body surfing. I would like to point out at this time that I will not condone body surfing by anybody @ any time period!
3: VRD Invades Georgia, (since Georgia is a "State-in-the-heartland-of-America" the rooskies are invading the USA!!! ).
4: Johann, after making statements that essentially declare war on VRD, jumps in the polls by 6 Pt's. Ahhhh war is good for business and business is booming!
5: VRD claims the victim. It has come full circle. So that is how it is done...... keeping power in the hands of a few by fear, victimization and intimidation....easier done than said.
The Pigs and the Puppies..so easy... ahh yeahh....
Oh and Dawhite, I would press it upon you to take it upon yourself to take into account the examples of the world leaders explained so eloquently, and in minute detail above, in your next Bocce tournament. I have, and you have been warned!!

Conspirasteve

Rev. Phil sends me a lot of stuff that doesn't usually make it on this website. For example, this :

WTF? I don't even like that show.

This link however is brilliant. Best bike polo website ever?
Los Marcos Polos
I see they're sponsored by Team Wreckstuff. Good name but does it include a terribly clever acronym? Probably not.

Cyclocross comes to Rickreall

I just spoke with Tad the Champ and it's almost entirely official that I will be hosting the Veloshop Cyclocross Race on Saturday, September 27. I'm pretty excited. Tad expects 200 to 300 racers which will be fun and crazy, will beat the trail into submission and will generate some cash flow that I will put towards a ticket to CMWC Tokyo for the winner of the next Rickreall Open.
I'll need some help between now and then planning the route, improving trails and cutting a few new ones, building berms and maybe even renting a backhoe to create a few hills and pits. I'll most likely be having work parties September 13-14 and 20-21 so if you enjoy moving dirt or cutting through blackberries with a machete then please attend. If possible bring your own shovel/rake/machete/clippers/chainsaw/ bobcat/ trackhoe/dumptruck.
Also please help me think of a better name than Veloshop Cross Race. My first thought was Rickreall Rampage but that's pretty weak. I'm sure you can do better. Leave your entry in the comments and the best (as judged by an inedpendent panel) gets a free t-shirt when the next batch is printed.

the unofficial world champion of bicycle thieves

Igor Kenk

As the police gathered the mounds of bikes, they also found cocaine, crack cocaine, about 15 pounds of marijuana and a stolen bronze sculpture of a centaur and a snake in battle.

Rickreall Open 5 pt. 2

Photos by Divebomb.

Rickreall Open 5

Another successful Open. Drew won the overall and a $300 travel voucher to represent Team WRECK at the NACCC in Chicago. If I can secure some sponsors I'd like to offer a ticket to CMWC Tokyo as the grand prize next year.

I think this guy said his name was Lance and he was from Keizer.


At the firepit.



Divebomb nursing a shin wound after the time trial.

If only she had utilized Mace's bark armor.




At the start of the road race.


Drew was motivated.

Realizing I'm second. Though I tried to catch back on the downhill I knew it was futile.

Dabby at the turnaround.


I directed Jaden to get some closeups. "Get up in their grill!"

Death March?

Team WRECK is headed to the Mackenzie River on Labor Day weekend. Meet at the Polo Haus or the Mill House between 9:30 and 10am on Saturday, August 30th. It's about a 3 hour drive so we'll set up camp and do a short ride Saturday and then shuttle to the top and ride the 26.5 mile trail downhill on Sunday. Since it's a 3 day weekend we could stick around until Monday but we'll see how that goes. I've heard that J-Bone (aka Two Sevens) has more time off and will be leading a splinter faction into the desert afterwards, so this could turn into Death Drive 2.
If you want to go RSVP ASAP to me, Mason or J-Bone.
You'll need to bring lots of money for gas and food plus the usual sleeping bag, tent, warm clothes, headlamp etc. etc.

Scenes from the Rickreall Closed

The deck jump






Jaden contemplating a front derrailleur. He stripped down his new road bike and painted it black and red with a gold pin stripe.


Building a polo mallet
Apres ditchstyle. I got a few new scars from this malfunction. I think Dabby has a photo of my bloody knuckles, maybe he'll send it in.

Oh yeah, there it is. I blame the cordial. And the lack of a rimstrip on the recently purchased wheel. And an inflated sense of my skill at ditchstyle. And just being a dumbass, I guess.

The return of Conpirasteve!

*Please note the opinions and theories expressed by ConpiraSteve are not necessarily shared by the author of this blog*


The new Ace and Larry

I was rather taken aback the other day by Mr. Hannity's (of faux news fame) assertion that, and I quote " The American military is the greatest force for peace that the world has ever known!" ................Lets let that sink in for a bit shall we?...........Are you my dear reader done? No? OK we shall wait..... mmm, oh yeah, that smell of plagiarism can only be culled from one the worlds most astute examiners of world history. George Orwell... You remember the book he penned, do you not ? 1984? ahhh yes the foul stench of totalitarianism and everything it implies. Good stuff, good stuff.. War is Peace! Freedom is Slavery! Fixed gears save Lives. So on and so forth.

So as I was getting my daily "two minutes hate
", I put forth the question to myself : What does the GOP really want? I mean, besides the full control of the presidency, the congress, and the judiciary. It dawned on me, America IS Europa and radical Islam IS Eastasia! The GOP needs radical Islam to survive as a party!! Crap! it's so simple, yet so obvious!

AHH, dear readers. You want more do you not? I will not insult Dawhite's readership by expounding on the newest and most brilliant political theory I have had this week ,without further diving into the most unholy regions of my brain/ liquor cabinet. So I am off. For now!

....to the Quickie Mart....

Stay tuned dear readers

CONSPIRASTEVE

Dooooom

A founding member of Team WRECK gets some ink in the Durango Telegraph.

The Trimphant Return of Team WRECK

I'm back! I moved to the country and promptly mowed the internet cable. It took a few months but I now have an impregnable internet connection. Buried at varying depths and sheathed in schedule 40 conduit. Good luck gophers! Drunken lawn mowing? No problem!

I can say it was a good test. I can live without the internets. It was tough though, I was almost completely cut off, except for books, magazines, newspapers, radio, cell phone and satellite TV. Here's a sample of the barbarism : when I was curious about something instead of asking wikipedia I had to walk all the way across the room, find the relevant volume of the physical encyclopedia, pull it down, find the right page, download knowledge, put it back and walk back across the room. Precious seconds lost off a finite lifespan.

But now I've finally woken from this long nightmare and soon will offer you, my loyal readers, updates on the last few months, including photos and full results from the Rickreall Open, reports on our last few MTB rides and a preview of coming attractions. Stay tuned.

My kind of energy bar

From the New York Times :

The combination of protein with carbohydrates is particularly important, he said, ensuring that the blood sugar boost from the carbohydrates isn’t too rapid, and that it lingers, providing energy for a longer period of time. The salt is equally essential, he said, because a cyclist can lose so much sodium through sweat.

His recipe for sushi rice bars:

3 cups medium-grain Calrose or sushi rice, cooked

6 eggs

Soy sauce or Bragg Liquid Aminos (a soybean-based liquid protein concentrate)

A handful of prosciutto or cooked bacon

Salt

Balsamic vinegar

Scramble the eggs with the soy sauce or the Braggs Aminos. (“The guys like the flavor of the Braggs better than the soy,” Mr. Lim said.) Add the prosciutto or bacon. Pile the rice, eggs and pork into a 6-by-9-inch pan. Pour a small amount of balsamic vinegar and soy on top. Salt to taste. Mix and mash into the pan. Let sit for 20 minutes, then, using a silicon spatula (“anything else and the rice will stick,” Mr. Lim said) cut it into 1 1/2-inch squares. Wrap in foil. Yields about 24.

As a sweet alternative, use “a big jar of Nutella, a bunch of all-natural peanut butter and the same amount of rice,” Mr. Lim said.

Trail Ride : 3 Corner Rock

Team Wreck voyaged to 3 Corner Rock for the first time this season, finding it steep, overgrown, rocky, painful at times but also super fun.

This little bridge is new. The first time I walked it. On the way back I tried it and did a slow motion endo into the mud. Then I tried again and made it.


Unfamiliar scat. Cougar or bear maybe?


Each climb seemed harder than the one before.

3 Corner Rock in the distance. We made it kind of close to the road, which is near the tree line but the number of downed trees up there turned us back. Plus we were tired.


Crossing Stebbins Creek.

Guest Post : ConspiraSteve

Much has been made of late of my prescient predictions, well thought out political opinions, lack of thought to the feelings of others, (that being from my wife), sculpted bike calves and my thoughts on the absolute certainties in life. Which brings us to the here and know/now. My good friend The White (certainly of high caliber morality and wisdom) R Kelley, here on in known as "Dawhite", has asked me to opine on his blog. Let's give a little background on myself shall we? No you say? That won't be necessary you say? Good, I do not know you, or the people who will be genius enough to take it upon themselves to take the time out of their day to enlighten themselves to my opines. Here on in to be referred to as "Opinions". My entries, for future reference, will be about roughly the first sentence. Though I reserve the right to change the first sentence at a moments notice, therefore not rendering this sentence moot. I will do my best not to throw out my self imposed rule of the first sentence, while observing the right to adhere to the last sentence at any time. You have been forewarned.

Next week: Will David Stern allow Kobe to be fouled in the last five minutes of a game?
-ConspiraSteve

Trail ride this Sunday

Polo Haus, 9:30 am. Last Sunday was super fun and we welcomed a few new members to Team Wreck : Peaches, Boston Jeff, Tiger Tom and the inimitable Dawn Riddle. This weekend we may move beyond Scappoose and head out to Hospital Hill or 3 Corner Rock. Bring at least $5 for gas, water, snacks and a towel.

The Rickreall Open V

This Open promises to be the best yet. Scheduled for July 25-27 this year to intersect with the Sesqicentennial of the Farmer Family Farm. That will be fun, plus this year I've decided to make it a real race, with a real prize, a ticket to Chicago to compete in the NACCC while flying the Team WRECK colors. I haven't settled on a format yet but I'm thinking about an omnium that features a rural alleycat that involves climbing through barns, a time trial through the woods, extreme bocce ball and speed scrabble. I think that covers the skills necessary to succeed in a championship race in Chicago.
Also, I'm done with Rootbeer Schnapps. The new midnight drink is the 44 Cordial.

Trail Ride This Sunday

Meet at the Polo Haus (NE 14th and Killingworth) at 9:00 for a 9:30 departure. We'll vote with our gas money but I'm in favor of somewhere we haven't been in awhile, maybe 3 Corner Rock or Surveyor's Ridge.