Tuesday, January 13, 2009

memo to all squirrels

I'm happy to wrap my ongoing jihad against squirrels in the righteous cloak of native species protectionism but consuming their corpse is going too far.

So, on the off chance that any squirrels are reading this blog, I hope you enjoyed the reprieve since the scope mysteriously "came loose" during Jaden's use. Just pray to your nut gods that we settle on resighting rather than upgrading.

I'd also like to say to the squirrels : this war need not be endless. I'm willing to cede control of the orchard and the woods. Gather all the filberts and acorns you like. If you want to hit up a bird feeder now and then I'll look the other way, just stay out of my house. When you wake me up, nearly every morning at dawn, by climbing all over my roof and then skittering through the attic it makes me want to kill you.

Squirrel hit list :
The big one with no tail that sometimes looks like a rabbit but is not a rabbit.
The scrawny dark grey one that never, ever stops moving.
The huge silvery one with the bushy tail that twitches a lot.

1 comment:

tiahdactyl said...

you don't got the red squirrels do you? cos they are brits! and they are becoming rare in ole ungerland cos the american gray squirrel goes over and takes all their nuts. and gives them diseases. :cry: just saying. if you see some you should call the queen and let her know she can come get her squirrels.